Welcome the Young Israel of St. Louis—Purim Edition

Yes, this meant as a joke. If we offended anyone, we apologize. The real website is still here. You can see the previous Purim Spoofsites from 5768 and 5767.

Music from Aish Hatorah

Cafe Rimonim: A Clarification

It has come to our attention that there is some ambiguity in the name of our annual dinner. The rimonim here are meant to be pomegranates. Members are asked to save the hand grenades for the annual meeting, when they will be more likely to be needed.

New Class with Rabbi Shulman

Practical Kabbalah

Hope and Change

It seems that everyone nominated for the Obama cabinet has been evading their taxes. We realize that this is not a problem, but a brilliant strategy by the president to encourage paying taxes, so we are implementing our own Obama plan: Anyone who does not pay dues in full will automatically be made a member of the board. Anyone more than 2 years in arrears will become president of the shul. Anyone more than 5 years in arrears will be made gabbai for life. The board looks forward to all its new colleagues.

Vaad Hoeir Kashrus Alert

The Vaad has issued new guidelines for checking for bug infestations in fruits and vegetables:


  1. Wash in soapy water
  2. Remove the leaves without touching the fruit underneath
  3. Remove 1/2 inch from the top of the berry and discard
  4. Scrub the small black seeds from the exterior of the berry
  5. Remove and discard the white core
  6. Cut the berry in half. Inspect for insects
  7. Cut each half in half. Inspect for insects
  8. Repeat continuously
  9. Discard the remainder of the berry
  10. Eat a potato


  1. Place a sheet of wax paper on a light box
  2. Spread raisins individually on the wax paper
  3. Bugs look like small wrinkly brown-to-black raisin-shaped objects. Discard these
  4. Eat a potato


  1. Cut off the top floret and discard
  2. What's the point? You've already taken away the only part worth eating
  3. Eat a potato


  1. Broccoli is treif. It has always been treif. You shouldn't even say the word!
  2. Besides, potatoes are good for you

Are You Smarter than a Seating Committee Member?

Try to make everyone happy in this fun logic puzzle!

  1. Reuven hates Shimon and won't sit within three rows of him return !members["Shimon"] || Math.abs(members["Reuven"]-members["Shimon"]) > 3;
  2. Shimon needs to sit in the back row so he can talk during the drash return members["Shimon"]==12;
  3. Levi needs to sit in one of the three last rows so he can fall asleep during the drash. He can't be too close to Shimon because Levi's snoring will bother his conversation return members["Levi"] > 9 && (!members["Shimon"] || Math.abs(members["Levi"]-members["Shimon"]) > 1);
  4. Yehudah has always sat in the front seat and cannot sit anywhere else return members["Yehudah"] == 1;
  5. Dan won't get his seating request in before the deadline, but he will complain about not getting his seat anyway return Math.random() > 0.5;
  6. Naphtali has always sat in the front seat and cannot sit anywhere else return members["Naphtali"] == 1;
  7. Gad doesn't care about his seat but insists his third cousin's wife's brother is to be shliach tzibur for musaf on Yom Kippur return true;
  8. Asher will leave the shul if anyone related to Gad davens for the amud return !members["Gad"];
  9. Yissachar will tell you he doesn't care where he sits, but he is lying. If you really cared, you'd know what he wants return Math.random() > 0.5;
  10. Zevulun hasn't paid dues in twelve years. The president wants you to make him pay up now return true;
  11. Yosef has always sat in the front seat and cannot sit anywhere else return members["Yosef"] == 1;
  12. Binyamin just wants a place to daven with kavanah and inspiration. Don't bother assigning him a seat; he's going to hashkama return false;

The New Official Soft Drink of Young Israel

Diet Coke with Bacon